January 2012
1 post
I wonder what horrific emotional trauma damaged the three people I saw going for a run at 8am this morning.
Jan 3rd
December 2011
16 posts
When you see that your adorable 2-year-old relative’s favorite present is one you got her, you’re supposed to think “I WIN, JERKS!” right?
Dec 26th
Rejected title: 20 Ways To Use 2 Sticks, You Imbecile RT @HuffingtonPost 20 amazing uses for disposable chopsticks http://t.co/382LPsgk
Dec 25th
Watch this, @xoamelia: Christmas With the Lettermans from 1984. It’s amazing. http://t.co/BiIu9R2t
Dec 24th
You forgot the (TM) symbol. RT @leonoraepstein Leo-approved.
Dec 23rd
Listening, oddly, to “Huey Lewis & The News: Greatest Hits.” Some good stuff, but still it’s about 12 songs too long.
Dec 21st
Beach Boys hyping new album by re-recording Do It Again is like JD Salinger hyping new book by publishing old IRS form. http://t.co/TCdvVGxo
Dec 18th
This will no doubt be turned into an outrage by certain GOPers. RT @NASA NASA has reaffirmed its commitment to science. http://t.co/SCt1JmaS
Dec 17th
I don’t want to get all mawkish and sappy here, but I really wish Christopher Hitchens wasn’t dead.
Dec 16th
http://t.co/H0cpJzcw RT @xoamelia Let me emphasize: DUDES WITH CHINSTRAPS NEED NOT APPLY. #onlinedating
Dec 13th
So “my lord and savior Jesus Christ” is Tebow’s nickname for Matt Prater. Right? #TebowTime
Dec 12th
Didn’t think it was possible, but I experienced inedible chicken-fried steak today courtesy of Carrow’s. (cc: @SteveKandell)
Dec 10th
And coming up tomorrow: Tacky couches that are comfortable. | RT @HuffingtonPost Ugly foods that taste good: http://t.co/HqbPhG6K
Dec 9th
Just used actual tools to fix the closing mechanism on my rattling kitchen windows. Nice try, Santa Ana winds—but I’m too butch for you.
Dec 4th
And here I thought I’d never want to go to church again. http://t.co/fL8a2lOT
Dec 3rd
RT @fivethirtyeight: Short memo to Christie, Palin, Daniels, Ryan, Thune, Huckabee, Barbour, Pawlenty, Jindal, Rubio and DeMint: oops.
Dec 2nd
Watching Timecop 7 years after the future that Van Damme time-traveled to from 1994 is weird because why the fuck am I watching Timecop?
Dec 1st
November 2011
12 posts
The theme to Time Bandits may very well be George Harrison’s crowning achievement.
Nov 30th
Not khakis. Pew jeans. RT @leonoraepstein Does the pope ever wear normal clothing? Khakis on his day off?
Nov 26th
I read this perfect @TheAVClub classic-rock manifesto while listening to Houses of the Holy, and so should you. http://t.co/ibnkja4x
Nov 18th
Shockingly productive day listening to nothing but The Misfits. Also somewhat shocking? How many hours of Misfits music I apparently own.
Nov 15th
Boy, 11:11 was a huge letdown today.
Nov 13th
“Say goodbye to real life.” Exactly what I did/didn’t want to read in a review of #Skyrim. http://t.co/OBtziNjd
Nov 11th
.@JohnDeVore It’s Bil Keane, not Bill Keane. And don’t try to say “Not Me” wrote your tweet — I won’t fall for that twice.
Nov 10th
“Tampons.” RT @mattufford Who wants to party with me? I’m gonna soak tampons in vodka and then stick ‘em up my butt. http://t.co/IvFuTzvB
Nov 10th
Spent day at beach in San Diego. Every third person I rode/kayaked past was pasty-white and wearing green & gold, Awesome! #Packers
Nov 6th
RT @pattonoswalt: “What’s so incredible about throwing cars?” “WHAT SO AMAZING ‘BOUT STICK TO WALL?!?” — Spidey & Hulk, drunk
Nov 5th
I never would have dreamed Cory Smoot (RIP) would be trending. Flattus Maximus, sure, but not Cory.
Nov 4th
Judging by the new trailer, the #21JumpStreet movie is more “hijinks at high school keggers” and less “Johnny Depp getting raped in prison.”
Nov 4th
October 2011
17 posts
Actual hed from 1859 @TheAtlantic: “Ought Women to Learn the Alphabet?” (They progressively said yes.)
Oct 29th
RT @GerdOzone: Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless on the same show and we got all of these asteroids in space just flying around being us …
Oct 21st
Cool—but “vintage” Stones? It’s from 1994! | RT @Thrillist #Win yourself a vintage #RollingStones #Halloween poster. http://t.co/GiEirB72
Oct 19th
I’ll miss @Haudricourt’s tweets during the offseason. Was my favorite way to keep up with the #Brewers from afar.
Oct 17th
“FREEDOM! … Why mah toof hurts?” Florida (surprise!) Tea Partiers liken fluoride in drinking water to Nazism, ban it. http://t.co/36mCnSYp
Oct 16th
Including, I just realized, theT-shirt I’m wearing. ::sigh::
Oct 15th
Jim Edmonds looks like he’s wearing a wig made of a bird of prey. #Brewers
Oct 14th
Oh hey @jessicacoen, you’re my “Godfather” according to this sorta disconcerting site! http://t.co/9DoNSEew
Oct 14th
RT @ClaraJeffery: OMG THIS #ows RT @RyanLizza RT @amaeryllis: AMAZING: Caption-writer goes rogue. Click thru before they’re taken down: …
Oct 13th
Me hate Halloween even more? Impossi— RT @Wonkette Wingnuts Plotting To Overthrow Devil Halloween Ritual With JesusWeen http://t.co/Lg6UD6kX
Oct 11th
Counsell hits an upper-deck dinger. You heard it here first. #Brewers
Oct 9th
#FuckYeah is the new #BeastMode.
Oct 9th
Red Sox (2004), Dbacks (2001), and Cards (1982) haunt me. If #Brewers beat Cards, that’s 3 exorcisms in 1 season. Sox beat selves but still.
Oct 8th
Another least favorite thing: A Rod’s “I just failed” face.
Oct 8th
My glorious, self-flagellatory dream of a #Yankees / #Brewers World Series will have to wait yet another year.
Oct 7th
RT @AlecBaldwin: “@UKnowUWant_It: @AlecBaldwin Cheney has a strange recurring dream 3 X a week.. what is he doing in the dream..” Michel …
Oct 6th
Good edit? ::beast mode:: Successful fax? ::beast mode:: Cleanly filled water bottle despite awkwardly positioned spigot? ::beast mode::
Oct 3rd
September 2011
11 posts
RT @stanhoraczek: Happy “B+H is closed for some reason” day to all of my Jewish friends.
Sep 30th
Prediction: Not a lot of people around the office will understand why I want to cut out at 4 to go watch an Orioles game.
Sep 29th
Are there those? | RT @JonDStern @kyhenderson I do. (Unless you’re an Os fan.)
Sep 29th
“The Dorito is the intersection of taste and shame.” http://t.co/JatQlMLM
Sep 28th